|
Thoughts on...
4/26/01
Hmmm...this could get a little tricky...
5/03/01
Well, I was suppose to be in
LA by now, but, alas, my ass is broke. So, I am simply here trying to chase my boredom away...hey, good luck to Hernane for
his big spring sing thing! Get your groove on with your new suit! :):)
5/31/01
So, I am actually homebound...there
it is, I have decided on going back home..well, cause I feel at this moment in time that it seems right. Feels right at least.
Right now, it's almost the end of the day...and I've been tooling around with this site for the most part (aah, life of an
intern). E-mail me! Tell me what you think!
Oh, I also put in some of Gala's cutesy neice, Carina in the photo album --
one of the few Tito Gary sent us. Look out for more pictures...um, sometime soon!
6/10/01
Y'know, in retrospect,
the "me" years, well it's not all its cracked up to be. Right now, everyone I know who's done with college and not in some
grad school work are in this state of...uncertainty...That's about the only word I can think of that would satisfy this certain
feeling of anxious ambiguouity. I guess the whole world up for grabs may be too much if you don't know what to take.
6/19/01
I've set up a date, after a long discussion with my mom, and it's gonna be May 29th - that's when I'm gonna head back
to Minnesota. Good' ol' Minnesota. Just got back from LA - which is dang HOT! -- and I had a good time celebrating Mamu's
b-day. She's 70 and still has great taste in clothes and shoes - with her prada bag, knee high leather boots and pimpin' clothes.
It was great to spend time with family too, sometimes when they're always around, you fail to appreciate what they can offer.
6/21/01
Here's a beautiful and thought-provoking piece of writing (under How True!) entitled Partners and
Marraige sent to me by Gala King who is currently galavanting around Pampanga (no, actually she's doing a study on toxic waste
left by the U.S. bases there for her public health grad work at Univ. of Michigan). Filipinos can be so romantic but this
essay proves that romance can go side by side with reality.
Enjoy. It's meant for anyone who's trying to grasp that unyielding
mystery that is love.
6/26/01
Just a few thoughts on the place I called home these past few months known as
California -land of the happy, tan and ubelievably health freaked people. Ofcourse there are two sides -- North Cal and South
Cal and yes, they are truly diverse and different as can be. But these cities are also part of this great state that undoubtedly,
I believe, should govern their own land. Californians are bestowed with bountiful nutural beauty, close to the coast and sheltered
between mounds of gorgeous flowing mountains. Its diversity in terms of race, religon and sexual orientation is unparallel
as I know to any other U.S. city. It can cultivate and sustain their own people if they choose, the governor of California
maintains his own independent relationships with other countries and its citizens are greatly and unforgivingly loyal to their
own cities, counties and more importantly to the great state of California. And having lived in a state such as Minnesota
where your bitten by cold and hot temperatures almost evenly throughout the year, where scrapers and down-feathered jackets
are as common as any accesory, where the word "celebrity" is a name only to be said after Loni Anderson and Kevin Garnett--
it's amazing to me to see a place such as San Francisco and LA where people can roam around the streets and not look awkward
(since, esp. during the fall and winter, and Minnesota's underpopulation, people are rarely outside).
Yet, I am indeed
going back home to the Twin Cities. Why, you ask if I have the chance to become one of the happy, golden, sleek people of
california. Well a great big chunk of it because, in Minneapolis/Twin Cities, I have what people can call...a home. There
is a certain wonderment and joy in finding a spot of greenish brown grass amidst a sea of white snow. It is indeed a place
where the turn of the leaves colors, especially in a grand oak tree, can capture the essence of a chilly holloween night.
There is kindness and sincere generosity among the people of the Twin Cities - Yes, we have discrimination, but there are
also many more organizations and institutions that welcomed diversity making Minnesota a home for countless refugees. So there
you go, enough sentimentality, becuase for all you know, I might be ready to leave Minnesota in less than a month. :). Oh,
another thing, I found that one really cannot live being, happy, golden, and sleek in all of eternity.
7/03/01
Aaah,
humidity and heat all clumped in one big afternoon of swelterness. I am again back in Minnesota and honestly, I am not minding
it one bit. I just got back from a "tea party" for my sister-bride. Her future mother in law's best friend (try to follow
that one) had a bridal tea party for her and now I know that yes, they do drink english tea in those little cutesy tea cups
with a dallop of milk or a cube of sugar if need be. But what I do remember is that I did thorougly enjoyed chilling with
a bunch of middle aged ladies discussing oprah, table arrangement and what it means to be really successful and happy in life.
A few words of wisdom never hurts.
I'm also enjoying living. I guess that in general seems like a funny statement
but what can i say except it seems to be true.
funny how a few months out of town changes the world.
8/12/01
whew,
what a hectic month, It was a great b-day month but all the same seems as if a lot happened. Well clearly among the best things
was that I got to see Janet Jackson in concert! It was great, and dang that girl is cut! Swear to god and she's about 35 already.
Well, the biggest thing right now is my sister, maryam's wedding! I'm the maid of honor, and I am trying to plan a shower/bachelorette
party ofcourse with the help of a few folks. But its totally trippy just to think of what Maryam will be in a few weeks, not
just my sister but she'll be a wife, and will truly belong to someone else and have responsibilities and priorities that doesn't
include us! But I am very, very happy for her and am glad that she is going the next step of adulthood. Hey, someone's gotta
do it. And I'm proud of her for doing it.
The whole wedding planning is not really as crazy as I thought it would be,
but judging from the next week where practically all my family from both the Philippines and the U.S. will be staying at my
house, I just can imagine the hectic whacked out Kraziness of it all...I guess we'll just have to see...oh by the way, I got
some new pics, check it out.
10/27/01
Well, haven't gotten back here in a while -- must be this caramel macchiato-soy-half-caf-half-decaf
coffee -at-6-in-the-afternoon induced insomnia I'm experiencing right now that got me surfing the internet at 2:50 am. Actually,
it'll be ok, I only have 1 class tomm...and honestly, I think my physics proffesor is about 3 chapters ahead of the class
anyway. So what has been up since 2 and more months ago?
a. One gorgeous wedding
b. Some post-graduate-reality-bites
ish that won't seem to end
c. Family, family, family...everywhere...yes, There were about 25 or more people living in
our 4 bedroom house the week of my sister's wedding. The whole entire thing was just unreal -- oh, and actually, a lot of
them are still here! ;)
d. Cold damn weather...
E. A lot of sadness and unyielding tears after the September 11 Attacks.
It's a painful memory, but one that we really must remember, becuase there are so many lessons to learn from it.
I've
downloaded a new set of pictures including some of My Sister's wedding...you have got to check them out because I would give
my right foot if someone can top this one! :)
11/6/01
Just got back from Chi-town, Chicago actually...tiring,
tiring, tiring...but all the same was too much fun, a bit of drama and hella wierd dance moves, but nonetheless, we all had
a good time. Wish we ventured out to the Buddha lounge, but it was nice to see Gala and her socialist point of views, (kidding
Gala), but it was great, I love listening to people who's got passion in what they're doing. It's one major thing I like about
journalism.
10/05/01
Whew, has it really been almost a year?! Crazy how time passes by so quickly as you grow
older. Much highs and lows and some in between since I've last entered this space. First, I got a job, a real job actually,
with benefits and all. Pretty interestng for a wanderer like me, but that's likely why I haven't even touched this site in
a long while. Work, was well, interesting to say the least. Highly stressful since I worked with consumers/citizens a lot
and they were always ornery. Another problem for me was having a meddling boss who was always too cautious about election
year. That's the problem about working for the state and technically for a politician, that just really isn't my thing (ya
hear me gala? ;)). So in any case, I've finally quit that job after much angst and deliberation. I've taken my savings and
well, do what I know best...go back to school. Indeed, I am again a U of M student dealing with tests and labs and lecture.
This time around I think I actually got it down - I wish I had this type of mentality before, but then again, I was too busy
with the Minnesota Daily (the U of M college newspaper). I'm taking some biology classes, considering some type of health
field. As of now, it really is intersting, I'm totally into the fact based knowledge...it's such a relief from liberal arts
classes which seems like everything is relative, there no clear answer. Think Essays instead of multiple choice. I've got
some cool proffesors who are very intersted in enviromental justice (I guess you tend to be when you're teaching natural
laws e.g. chemistry and zoology). I'm not yet clear on what I want to do for grad school esp. with this whole world opened
up to me but I'm have my ideas. So to sum it all up, I am still on the mid-20's career crisis track (same place since I've
started this site) with a little bit more money and a lot more knowledge of myself and what I want and don't want in life.
Gotta go...write more later. But check out the pics, it's my life layed out in images.
January 14 2003
Wow, another year begins. It's funny how a year makes you think and re-evaluate your life and see where you've
begun, looked into what you've made of it in a span of 12 months. So many things have happened yet many things still
stayed the same. No new years resolutions though, I don't believe in simply starting something for the new year's
sake, I'd rather begin it a few months before and simply pledge to continue it throughout the next year. Years, days,
minutes, it's all relative anyway. Here's to the best of this coming new year! May you all stay wise, beautiful and
full of love and joy!
Take care!
November 15, 2003
Geez, sorry for the melodramatic tone last night, I was feeling real funky last night but there was a reason, so it wasn't
just for shits and giggles (that's sharon's old line that I haven't heard in a long while). I'll keep the sentimental
notes to myself and my diary. Well, lets see what has come up since I last entered this space. Lots of family
gatherings, lots of food, and lots of good times during the holidays. I got this cute digital camera for christmas so
expect more pictures in the coming months (if I can learn to download it). Since the last time I wrote, I've had a few
revelations that was very cool, I had talks with two of my most favorite people in the world, my mom and my sister. These
two people know me the best and they've taught me so much, if I could be even half of who they are, I am very grateful.
Read up on some of those conversations in the page under "the me years". It's not really interesting reading, but I
usually put these ish up just for me.
March 19, 2003
There is an impending doom that everyone is feeling, the war has begun and it seems as if it there's
so much more at stake. I think every American currently feels vulnerable especially after 9/11 that there's
every chance something may happen. People say our world as we know it will end, other say it's simply a quick
war which will go on for only a few days. Yet I know that even if we end this quickly and get Saddam, there's always
consenquences of war and that's what's fearful.
Life gives us choices and we try to make the right one and at this important time in history, we are all trying
to forsee the what's in store for us. Lately I've been struggling to make a choice about my future and honestly,
it's really hard. I know I'm so vague, it's a little touchy. I'll tell more later. Yeah, a gloomy perspective
during a gloomy time in history.
April 15, 2003
It's funny how life takes a swerve that causes so much ripples -- effects that may be unwanted but others that can
just give you pure joy. I got in a graduate school program last week. Yeay! It's a Journalism and Health Program
here at the University of Minnesota. Truth, I wanted to go somewhere else for a change but this program is so promising
that I can't say no. In any case, it's only for a year so it'll give me more time to think about my life. That
part of my life seems just wonderful, I couldn't have asked for anything more. Then there's the other side of the coin
that I wish would just leave me behind. But unfortunately it's such a big part of my life, a big part
of me that I can't ignore it. Other people's decisions have made me face my future in the eye.
It was hard, there were times I couldn't have withstanded the hardship. But funny enough, I grew and
I learned. More importantly, I learned to understand a man I've known and loved for so long. Now
that's almost funny how closed your mind is that you can't even see what's infront of you. Let's just hope things
work out -- the way it's suppose to. No, no definite path. Just the path that God, nature, fate, love has put forth.
No more downtrodden and offbeat paths for me.
May 2nd, 2003
DID I FORGET TO MENTION....I GOT IN A MASTERS PROGRAM -- JOURNALISM AND HEALTH!!
So awesome, I'm hoping that it will lead me to new ideas and maybe open some doors. Community Public Health maybe....hmmm...
May 21st 2003
Hmmm...the past few months have been a whirlwind to say the least, I've been lost, scared and definitely a bit
lonely. My whole life has changed and thus my outlook turned also...sometimes I feel a bit off, like I don't know what
to expect next because so many unexpected things have taken place. I guess I just have to take it from here and move
on to a better level...see a clearer picture. I'm hoping that things will turn out...the ones I wanted actually didn't.
I heard in the radio something like funny how fate always changes when you least expect it or want it to...it seems
like that is so true. This has been a true test of my character, I think I turned out all right, I'll have to see though
but I think I actually turned out all right ;).
May 23, 2003
Just reading this is helping me tremendously...
Comes the Dawn
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand
and chaining the soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And
presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace
of a grown up, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads
On today, because tomorrow's ground
Is
too uncertain. And futures have
A way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring
you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong,
And you learn and learn.
With
every goodbye you learn.
October 27, 2003
Whew, What a rough few months it's been! Craziness really. But so
life alteringI couldn't even imagine it. But it's been good. I've learned
a lot about myself, my strengths as well as my weaknesses. And most of
all, I've learned how many people actually care for me. How luck am I!
:) More later, promise. 11/07/03 Got this poem from a friend in Ateneo...thought...how appropriate! Dont Look Back
As you travel through life there are always
those times
When decisions just have to be made,
When the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce,
And the rain
seems to soak your parade.
There are some situations where all you can do
Is simply let go and move on,
Gather
your courage and choose a direction
That carries you toward a new dawn.
So pack up your troubles and take a step
forward -
The process of change can be tough,
But think about all the excitement ahead
If you can be stalwart enough!
There
might be adventures you never imagined
Just waiting around the next bend,
And wishes and dreams just about to come true
In
ways you can't yet comprehend!
Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new things
As you challenge your
status quo,
And learn there are so many options in life,
And so many ways you can grow!
Perhaps you'll go places
you never expectedAnd see things that you've never seen,
Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds
And wonderful spots in between!
Perhaps
you'll find warmth and affection and caring
And somebody special who's there
To help you stay centered and listen with
interest
To stories and feelings you share.
Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends
Are supportive
of all that you do,
And believe that whatever decisions you make,
They'll be the right choices for you.
So keep
putting one foot in front of the other,
And taking your life day by day...
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down
the road -
Don't look back! You're not going that way! |
~ Veronica A. Shorffstall ~
|
